Let's start with the night before the surgery actually. To put it simply, it was hell... The fear kicked in and the logical side of me and the paranoid side of me gave a big fight, the paranoid side won over the emotions so I was awake all night, tearful and fearful, desperately trying to sleep in an unfamiliar hotel room and getting frustrated as I got more and more tired. I really wanted my husband to sleep properly the night before because he'd be rushing around the next day but with me tossing and turning and sobbing every now and then, he was awake pretty much all night also.
.JPG)
15 October 2012, Monday... We were asked to be at the hospital at 7am so by the time it was 5:30, we got up and started to get ready. We left the hotel and arrived at the hospital, it was still dark. Inside, there were already several people sitting at the reception and looked like at least 4 of us were there for bariatric surgery
A male doctor were calling everyone from a list for the blood tests and the ECG. I think 2 people went before me and came back quickly and resumed their wait before being taken to their rooms. When I went in, I was already shaking with fear and I knew it will be a problem finding my veins. Arms didn't work so he tried the hands. After poking about a bit, one hand didn't work, so he tried the other hand. After 10 minutes of trying (very gently, I have to add) he managed to do it on my right hand. I was about to pass out several times but he calmed me down - really appreciated his attitude, he looked after me so well and was kind, understanding and gentle. ECG was a much better experience, didn't feel a thing and my heart was absolutely fine despite beating like mad due to anxiety :)
First battle won, I was now calmer and no longer frightened, just excited. I rang my mum, told her how we're doing and we had a little chat, both trying to sound cheerful. I went back in and shortly after a nurse took us to my room. Very roomy, lovely room, not scary like other hospital rooms I've seen before. It had a bathroom and a big wardrobe with safe, tv and a comfy chair for my husband to spend his next couple of days on.
What I liked most about the room was the view outside the window: grass, green and sheep :) After the op, I remember waking up to the baa-ing sheep and chirping birds, then falling back to sleep smiling...
Two nurses came to check us in the room, they went over my medical history again, one of them measured my calf and length of my leg and brought the correct size anti-embolism stockings to put on. And he also showed me the hospital gown and paper knickers I was supposed to wear. I immediately objected and said I have 100% cotton pants and to my relief yes it was ok to wear those instead. I don't think the paper one was big enough for a single leg of mine!
I then took a shower, dried my hair (good thing I brought a hair dryer because i haven't seen one in the room!) and tried wearing the gown. It was a bit on the small side, the back didn't quite meet but the problem was with the strings, I think one was a bit too short to tie properly so I asked for another one. They brought me one a few sizes too big for me but I loved it, it was very comfy and the back of it covered my bottom and the back of my legs although I still wore my own dressing gown on top.
Anti-embolism stockings are a pain to wear though, very very tight!
Then my Superman surgeon Mr Super came to see me. He was very sweet, smiled the whole time. He told me he was very impressed with my weight loss before the surgery and that I lost more than he asked me and it showed dedication which results in better post-op success. Then he went over the risks etc again and I signed the consent forms.
Shortly after, the anaesthetist came to see me. She was so friendly and I cannot even begin to describe how lovely she was and how much she calmed me down. I told her I was terrified of needles and that we already had an episode in the blood tests and that I was VERY scared and she promised to look after me :) She looked at my hands and arms and said she reckons she could use the top of the left hand, which was a relief because the other alternative was using the inside of the left arm and that would be an awkward position and probably very painful as the skin is so delicate there. She said the nurses will put numbing Emla cream on the hands and the inside of my arm so by the time I'm in the operating room they should be numb enough. Really appreciated her attitude here, cannot explain how much this helped me.
The nurse said I was 3rd to go and she came back when the 2nd patient went in the surgery to put Emla on my hands. It started tickling immediately so it looked promising. They put a big blob of it on the hand and cover with plaster so it's concentrated for the area.
I removed my contact lenses and wore my glasses instead. Removed my wedding band and engagement ring and gave them to my husband. I was now ready for my op and was waiting for a nurse to take me to the operating theatre. Tears came running back and I held on to my husband. I was very scared again but not sure what I was scared of at this point. My husband told me if I wanted to change my mind it was absolutely fine and we could just go home immediately. Hearing this meant a lot to me and I knew he meant it but I also knew what I wanted and I didn't want to live like this anymore and I wanted this band fitted in me no matter how scared I am of needles or general anesthetics...
The nurse came around 10:30am and the three of us walked to the lift where I said goodbye to my husband and cried a bit more. When in the lift with the nurse, she calmed me down and told me however you go under, you wake up pretty much in the same state so I tried to control myself. We started walking in the theatre, I saw Superman and he smiled at me, then I saw the anaesthetist lady and another guy (her assistant maybe?) and they were as sweet as always. I stopped crying, wiped my eyes and answered their questions - going over my medical history once again, probably this was the 5th time this morning so far. He asked me what operation I was going to have and that made me laugh and I said to him hopefully he knew which op it was at this point! Obviously he knew and he was checking with me but I found that funny.
The nurse took my dressing gown and slippers and took them back to my room and I walked in with the anesthetics team. There were other people in the room and they all seemed friendly and they said hi. I think they were preparing the tools to poke me with. I laid on the bed, a black leather bed with foot rest at the end of it and arm rests on the sides and a large square pad in the middle, it looked like a giant sanitary towel, probably in case you pee or something?
They were both so lovely and took my mind off things by general chit chat. I asked them to tell me what exactly they are doing because it's more scary for me if I didn't know what was going on. I was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling with big surgical lights and feeling very vulnerable yet comfortable and I trusted them fully.
Firstly they worked on my hand for what seemed like a long time to put the cannula in. They made me move my hand from the wrist and she told me not to worry because she wants to get this right and find the vein in this hand rather than trying the inside of my arm. It did work in the end and it was completely painless. I did feel the needle go in but that's about it really. The guy put a mask over my face, why did I think it would be black I don't know but I was pleasantly surprised that it was clear plastic. I also assumed it would smell funny whatever gas it was but no it was odourless. They were talking to me all the time explaining what they did and that really helped. He asked me to take very deep breaths while she said she will give the meds in now and I should expect to feel it moving to my arm from my hand, it could be a warm feeling or maybe a little sharper and that it will go up my arm, then my shoulders and my cheeks and chest will feel warm while it moves to the other shoulders. I did indeed feel it move from my arm up my shoulder, my cheeks or chest didn't really feel hot but as it moved to my other shoulder everything started to blur up and I might have said "here we go" and I passed out...
I remember feeling grateful for falling asleep at that point and I really wasn't scared anymore as I fully trusted the the anesthetics team and my surgeon Dr Super. His name does help though, doesn't it? :)
Continued in Part 2 of the Surgery Day post! xxx
Hi
ReplyDeleteHow did the weight loss go in the end then. Hope you succeeded in all you wanted it to be. Just had mine done 2 days ago so looking forward to getting better firstly and then moving on with my life.
Anne