Pre-Op Diet - Day 7

Had another fab day with our friends and their kids! Today we went to a local farm, played with the goats and bunnies, walked through sunflower fields and picked blackberries :) It was probably one of the last few sunny weekends of the year and I'm glad we had some great company to enjoy it with.

In terms of the diet, today I had like half an egg for breakfast (tiny piece from the omelet I made for the others) and 2 tablespoons of dry fried extra lean beef mince (took some for myself before I added beans and tomatoes etc to turn it into chili con carne for the others) and fat-free yogurt and a couple of mini gherkins (not sweet). I didn't have dinner, just tea and a pot of weightwatchers yogurt.

So, here's what happened this weekend: I failed.

It was hard to resist and I couldn't resist. I cooked 4 big meals for 6 people this weekend and I just couldn't do the milk/yogurt diet and I decided I would have some food with them and continue my milk/yogurt diet Monday onwards, without failing.

So did I ruin the whole pre-op diet? I don't think so. See, I actually only needed to do the milk/yogurt diet for the last 2 weeks before my operation. I was going to be on a high protein, low carb and low fat diet aiming for around (preferably less than) 1000 kcal a day. I did that for a week but because of my own worries, went on the pre-op diet a week too early so that I could lose the amount of weight I needed to before the operation. So within my 1-month pre-op plan, I did 1 week of this low carb high protein diet, followed by 5 days of milk/yogurt, 2 days (this weekend) of pretty much protein-only and my next 2 weeks (starting tomorrow) will be the proper milk pre-op diet.

I don't think I had anywhere near 1000 kcal a day this weekend so I will not worry, I'll be grateful for the lovely weekend I had and not ruin it for myself. My husband said he was very proud of me (yay) because not only I cooked yummy food for the others the whole weekend, I ate tiny amounts myself and didn't go anywhere near the naughty stuff.

09:00 am -  Soya latte
10:00 am - 1/2 scrambled egg (no fat)
14:00 pm - Latte
16:00 pm - Dry fried extra lean beef mince with onions and Total 0% fat yogurt
18:00 pm - Blueberry green tea
19:00 pm - Pint of squash
21:00 pm - Weightwatchers peach yogurt
22:00 pm - 1/2 litres of water

Tomorrow onwards, I will be having nothing but my milk/yogurt allowance plus the Oxo cube :)

Pre-Op Diet - Day 6

What a beautiful day we had today! It was sunny and lovely, we ordered my new car and had a great time with our friends :)

We woke up early to go for a test drive and it was great, I loved it, my husband loved it and before I knew it we were signing papers! I'd better live and drive my new car, hehe :)

Then we came home and our friends arrived to stay for the weekend. I cooked them a late lunch - chicken and stir fried veg wrap - and I had 2 small strips of chicken breast (dry fried, no skin). Not really feeling guilty as I've been good first half of the day and all I had was a bite of chicken for lunch and half a salmon fillet for dinner. Oh yes, I also had a piece of salmon :p

We went out for a long walk in the park after lunch, it was a bit cold but beautiful. Got back home, had dinner, put the children in bed and had a nice long chat.

Time to go to bed now but looking forward to taking the kids to the farm tomorrow to play with bunnies and goats and stuff :))

 08:00 am - Decaf coffee made with 300ml lacto-free semi skimmed milk
11:45 am - Slim Fast ready-made banana shake
13:30 pm - Weightwatchers squash
14:30 pm - Decaf coffee made with 300ml soya milk
16:00 pm - 40g dry fried chicken breast + 75g mixed green veg
18:00 pm - Latte
20:00 pm - 1/2 fillet of salmon + green salad
22:00 pm - Pint of squash

Not even a bit worried about the food situation either. I will get back to my milk and yogurt on Monday!

Night night x

Pre-Op Diet - Day 5

Uh oh... I think we have a problem... I spent half the day in toilet with severe diarrhea and it began shortly after I had a pint of Slim Fast in the morning, made with semi skimmed milk and 2 scoops from the tin. Good thing I was working from home today, I don't want to even begin to imagine being at work!

I couldn't even sip water until 4ish in the afternoon, didn't feel like it. Then I popped out to get myself a variety of lacto-free, soya and oat milks, plus food shopping for the weekend guests - that's another story. I did manage a big mug of coffee (decaf of course) made with hot soya milk. It was lovely and soothed my gurgling insides a bit. That filled me up but I made myself eat a pot of yogurt so I have something thicker than milk. The rest of the day was fine, I had lots of soya milk with coffee and it tastes much nicer than actual milk and I didn't have to run to the loo half an hour after I had it. I also tried some oat milk. Obviously I didn't expect it to taste like porridge but I wish it did, haha. I had the oat milk on its own, cold, it was rather tasty.

I also got myself a pair of slippers for the hospital :) 1 more thing to check off the list!

Right, weekend guests. It's one of those very close friends who you can't see very often as everyone have their own busy lives in different cities 3 hours drive apart. I visited her 3-4 months ago when she was about to pop her second baby and now she's visiting me with her husband and two kids. I love her 2 year old boy and haven't met the baby yet so really looking forward to their visit. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is the food...

This was supposed to be my last weekend before the actual milk diet began so I was assuming I could eat food. Not a lot, nothing fatty, no carbs but decent protein and veg. Nothing goes as planned and I started the milk diet a week earlier than. I thought about postponing their visit but I really miss them and want to spend some quality time with them. So I decided to brave it.

I planned good, healthy meals for them, made a shopping list and did not buy one extra item as all the leftovers will be chucked after they leave on Sunday. I'll make chicken wraps for lunch and bake salmon fillets for dinner with onion, pepper and mushrooms plus potatoes for Saturday. Sunday morning I'll make a nice omelet for breakfast. I have to admit, I chose this menu so maybe I could pick a teeny tiny bit on the chicken, salmon and the eggs... Naughty I know but if I'll lose it and put a solid piece of food in my mouth this weekend, I'll make sure it's pure protein.

I wrote about my feelings about a new car last weekend - I didn't feel like committing to anything new before I have my surgery and recover alright. But my husband arranged a test drive for tomorrow morning and if I like it, looks like I'll get a new car! Probably there's a waiting list and hopefully it can be a "changed my life and I recovered from surgery" present for me :)

I still haven't been able to consume 3.5 litres of liquids per day, 3 pints of which should be milk, can't have that much milk either...

Today I had:

07:30 am - 1/2 pint of Weightwatchers NAS* squash
08:30 am - Weightwatchers peach yogurt
10:45 am - 300ml semi skimmed milk + 2 scoops of Slim Fast banana
11:30 am - Decaf coffee with 150ml semi skimmed milk
16:00 pm - Decaf coffee made with 300ml soya milk
16:30 pm - Weightwatchers raspberry yogurt
18:30 pm - Decaf coffee made with 300ml soya milk
19:30 pm - 300 ml oat milk
20:00 pm - Mullerlight raspberry yogurt
21:00 pm - Oxo cube in hot water

What will I do tomorrow, how will I do tomorrow... A bit worried but I'm determined to do my best :) x

Pre-Op Diet - Day 4

I turned my laptop on just a few minutes ago to write here and noticed what day it is, turned to my husband and said: "It's only Day 4!" and he said "What do you mean only day 4, you say yaaaay it's day 4" and added "you're alive, I'm alive, you haven't killed anyone yet"... I suppose he's right, I'm absolutely fine :) Just a bit fed up with milk and can't meet my daily allowance.

Walking to work was much better today as it didn't rain for the first time this week and it was even sunny on the way back. The only problem I had so far was the sudden nausea half way to work this morning. I think it's because I took my multivitamins on an empty stomach and the brisk walk didn't help. I had to pause for a couple of minutes, took deep breaths and carried on, it was fine in a few minutes.

The other thing I must note is my constantly gurgling stomach. I'm not hungry at all and my stomach isn't gurgling because it's empty - it's just full of liquids. And the liquids come out as liquid also. So far, since day 2, bowel movements twice a day and always liquid. If there's anyone reading this and you think it's too much information, sorry! But I think, if I was in the research stage, I would want to know.

I'm a tiny bit worried that I might have a slight lactose intolerance. I never had any problems because I hardly ever consumed milk! I used to have my tea very strong with a drop of milk and my coffee black. And I didn't really need to use milk anywhere else for any reason. Next time I go shopping (or send the darling husband) I'll get lacto-free milk and see if it makes any difference.

Did some more shopping today at lunch time. Got two nighties from Evans, I didn't have one, I usually sleep with just a t-shirt. I really liked these though, lovely soft to the touch. I made sure they are short-sleeved (for the IV) but couldn't decide if I should get them knee-length or long. Not too keen on showing my tree trunks but I decided to go for the knee-length in the end as it's easier lift up to access the dressings, plus I will be wearing anti-embolism stockings. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find a nice, soft, thin, jersey dressing gown/wrap, all they had was waffle gowns, fluffy ones (I have two of these), towel ones etc, maybe it's the season. When I got home, I found and ordered a lovely M&S jersey dressing gown on eBay (new, not used) and a soft bra as all my bras are wired.

I think my hospital bag is pretty much complete. I just need a pair of slippers (I only have flip flops but can't wear those with compression stockings), liquid ibuprofen, liquid co-codomol (does is even exist?!) and chewable multivitamins.

Right... food... or milk, whatever:

09:15 am - Weightwatchers apricot yogurt
09:45 am - Decaf coffee with milk (100ml semi skimmed)
10:30 am - Glass of water (~200ml)
11:30 am - Decaf coffee with milk (100ml semi skimmed)
12:30 pm - Glass of water (~200ml)
14:30 pm - Slim Fast raspberry shake
15:00 pm - Decaf coffee with milk (100ml semi skimmed)
16:30 pm - Decaf coffee with milk (100ml semi skimmed)
18:30 pm - Weightwatchers cherry yogurt
19:30 pm - Slim Fast banana shake
21:00 pm - Oxo cube in hot water
22:00 pm - Ice lolly made with frozen squash

Total today:
1.8 pints milk (half semi-skimmed, half skimmed in Slim Fast ready-made shakes)
2 yogurts

Forgot to weigh myself today. Hope I lost some more. Will hop on the scales in the morning...

Can it be the 15th of October yet please? x

Pre-Op Diet - Day 3

It wasn't the headache that woke me up this morning but the cat purring and rubbing his nose to my cheek :))) Adorable little bastard, waking me up at 6!

I promised myself to walk to work and back every day this week and although it was pissing down, I managed to walk. Had a raincoat on and an umbrella, still got soaked - trousers got wet half way up to my knees! Luckily, walking back was fine, no rain, just wet trees and street.

As I don't eat lunch anymore, I spent my lunch hour shopping today! I know my op is still more than 2 weeks away but I went to Boots anyway and stocked up stuff for my hospital bag. I've been reading others' packing lists on WLSurgery.com forums and compiled mine up:

• Toothbrush/toothpaste
• Shampoo
• Shower gel
• Deodorant 
• Hair brush
• Hair clips
• Hand cream for my eczema, it flares up when stre
• Lip balm - Vaseline Aloe Vera and also E45 in case I can't stomach the smell on the day
• Dry mouth spray - Boots expert as recommended
• Wet wipes
• Wind relief tablets - I got Wind-eze as these were the only chewable tablets I saw
• Peppermint tea for wind (not sure I need this at the hospital but got some anyway)
• Soluble paracetamol
• Liquid ibuprofen
• Extra pair of socks and pants (100% cotton)
• Dressing gown
• Nightie and PJs, I'll decide whichever is better on the day
• Soft bra
• Clothes for the next day
• Towel
• Hot water bottle
• Laptop and charger and/or iPad plus charger and earphones
• Pillow for the car journey back home

Still missing some bits and bobs but I have plenty of time to get everything before the 15th of October.

Ok back to today's milk and yogurt:

09:00 am - Glass of water (~200ml)
09:30 am - Weightwatchers strawberry yogurt
10:30 am - Decaf coffee with milk (100ml semi skimmed)
11:45 am - Decaf coffee with milk (100ml semi skimmed)
12:30 pm - Blueberry green tea
13:15 pm - Glass of water (~200ml)
13:45 pm - Decaf coffee with milk (100ml semi skimmed)
15:00 pm - Slim Fast vanilla shake (ready-made bottle)
16:00 pm - Glass of water (~200ml)
16:15 pm - Cup of decaf tea with a dash of milk
16:45 pm - Glass of water (~200ml)
20:00 pm - Oxo cube in hot water
I made a shake with a pint of milk, a pot of Mullerlight banana custard yogurt, a drop of vanilla, a teaspoon of Splenda and loads of ice. It tripled in quantity and I had this throughout the evening

Total:
~ 2 pints of milk
2 yogurts

Scared of the headache coming back, I drank lots of water too :)

One thing I have to add - mind you, it might be too much information - you need to remember that if something comes in as liquid, it goes out as liquid too! Enough said... x

Pre-Op Diet - Day 2

If I summed up today in one word, it would be 'headache'... Is this ketosis? I suppose it is, I've been googling it like mad all day and not just the headaches but the dizziness plus the pressured feeling in my head and the nausea, I have it all.

If I was at home today, I would have spent the day in bed no doubt but being at work, it was difficult to concentrate. Although I can't imagine being at home either, working kept my mind off food...

Headache was the worst. I woke up with it and it just stayed with me all day. Around 4pm I was getting tearful because even painkillers didn't help. Then I drank 2 glasses of water before I left the office 5ish and walked back home. I was sure it would be worse after the walk but in fact it was quite the opposite. When I got home it was gone, phew!

I didn't feel hungry today but the milk made me a little sick. I couldn't finish my second cup of milky coffee and I hit nowhere near 3 pints of milk today. I checked with my patient care coordinator and she said it was ok to have less.

Although I didn't really feel like it, I thought I should try the oxo cube and prepared myself one by melting a cube in hot water. Took one sip and it was bliss :))) I must have really needed something savory!

So here is my day:

08:00 am - Weightwatcher's cherry yogurt
09:00 am - Blueberry green tea
10:00 am - Decaf coffee with 100ml semi skimmed milk, topped with hot water
11:30 am - Blueberry green tea
12:30 pm - Slim Fast cafe latte shake
13:00 pm - Blueberry green tea
15:00 pm - Muller Light banana & custard yogurt
16:00 pm - Decaf coffee with 100ml semi skimmed milk, topped with hot water (could only have half)
19:30 pm - Oxo cube in a mug of hot water
20:00 pm - Slim Fast rich chocolate shake
21:30 pm - Weightwatchers nectarine yogurt

Total:
2 pints of milk (some with shake, some in coffee)
3 yogurts
1 oxo cube

I was dreading the milk diet but now I think I'll be ok :) x

Pre-Op Diet - Day 1

So we're skipping my last week of normalcy and starting the pre-op milk diet today. Here's how I got here:

I had a nightmare last night...

We drive to the hospital on the day of my operation and get lost in the car park. We go it in and a male nurse asks for a ridiculous amount of money for a wheelchair and I tell him I don't need a wheelchair, I'm perfectly fine walking, thank you.

They give me plastic (!) clothes to wear and they don't fit so I decide I'll wear my own stuff but I can't find them in my bag, it's full of hair! Apparently I cut my hair and put it in... I touch my head and feel my hair, it's still long, all there, phew.

Meantime, as I lose so much time fussing about, the surgical team is running around looking for me in their scrubs lol. They drag me to the op and I can't even say goodbye to my loved ones.

I woke up at this point in tears...

As of this morning I lost 6 pounds but I still have a stone to lose to get below 50 BMI and I'm panicking! Really bricking it... what if I can't lose enough weight in time, what if they say they can't operate on the day of the surgery, what if I lose all that money I paid...

My sensible side says, if I lost 6 lbs in first week while still eating solid food, I really should be able to lose the remaining amount which makes less than 5 pounds a week, especially where people lose an average of a stone with the milk diet alone. I have another week as my advantage.

I'm such a wuss, I panicked and I rang my patient coordinator again. She said for your peace of mind, why don't you start the milk diet now and I agreed.

Hopefully this will help and I don't even care about not eating food for 3 weeks as long as I can get the operation in the end - such a good motivator!

I already had breakfast and lunch by the time I rang Emma so I skipped the snacks I had planned and went shopping after work and stocked on Slim Fast shakes, milk, Oxo cubes etc.

I cooked one last dinner for my husband (stir fry chicken and veg) and announced there will no longer be food in this house until after a few weeks after my surgery :) Him being him, his response was nothing but supportiveness - I do love my husband very much!

My total was around 750 kcal today. Much less than the week before but I'm not feeling hungry at all. I'm just so scared I won't lose enough, I don't feel like eating at all.

I talked to my mum today. Now this is interesting because when I first told her I was going to get a gastric band fitted, she panicked and told me all about the horror stories she read... thanks mum! Over the weeks of my research, I shared my findings with her to put her mind at ease but she wasn't really convinced. Like me, she's terrified of general anesthesia - where do we get this from, no idea. Not that we know anyone who had a bad experience or anything... Anyway, when she rang me today, after I told her how I'm doing and what I'm worried about and what I'm looking forward to and what I'm not really looking forward to, she told me she's never seen me as determined and she thinks I'll succeed this time.

It was lovely to hear my mum tell me this - the same mum who a couple of weeks ago refused to talk to me because I was signing up to kill myself, lol. Probably she did more research and got slightly convinced - not entirely but it's a great progress!

The thing is, I want my mum... Much as I love my husband and I have no doubt he'll look after me just fine after the op as he always does whenever I'm sick, I still want my mum more than anyone by my side. This is rather unfair, she's 60 something, not in the greatest shape, especially with that problematic knee. Plus if she came down to stay with us, it means leaving my dad alone for a week or so. He's not in his best shape either, I'd rather she stayed with him and I didn't worry about either one of them.

So the plan is, the husband will be with me for 3 days (he can't get more time off work, sadly) then my in-laws and two friends will cover the rest of the week. It wouldn't be like my husband or mum of course but I'm grateful they offered help, I really appreciate it.

But I'm bloody scared! I'm scared I can't wipe my ass on my own for a while after the surgery! Eeeek!

I don't tolerate pain well and I'm dreading the wind pain and the general kicked in the stomach feeling. I really don't know in what mood I'll be. If I'll be all irritated, annoyed and frustrated, I'd rather not have anyone else with me I suppose. But being alone would make me more frustrated perhaps? I don't know anything, all I know is that I want my mum in a selfish way but I don't want her to come in a sensible way... She wants to come too but I told her not to... We'll see...

This is a pessimistic day for me, I know. Like I said before, there is a big emotional aspect of this procedure and I suppose it's normal to have ups and downs through the way.

I feel like I won't miss food much in this 3-week period as I'm working towards a goal but I'll miss fizzy drinks!

Pre-Pre-Op Diet - Day 7

I completed the 1st week of the pre-op diet's phase 1. Another week of high protein low carb low fat, then on to milk and yogurt for 2 weeks. I feel fine, maybe a little tired, lost around 5-6 pounds so far. I know I tend to obsess over things and worry too much but I'm really scared I won't lose enough to go below 50 BMI before the operation...

I've been eating around 1000 kcal a day and Myfitnesspal keeps warning me I should eat at least 1200 or my body will go into starvation mode. I ate around 850 kcal today and I'm not sure what I want to do now... Do I want to eat more? Not really. Should I eat more? Probably. It's still only 9pm maybe I'll have a yogurt later.

I went to my friend's baby shower today.  I got there at 1pm so I had a big (but good) breakfast to keep me going and I took my lunch with me to eat there before the others arrive. Spending an hour stuck on M25 in heavy rain, I didn't have much of an appetite anyway. It was good fun and because I just ate before the party began, I was absolutely fine resisting the cakes. I brought a yogurt with me in case I craved something sweet but I completely forgot about it and I didn't actually fancy anything sweet anyway.

Breakfast
Scrambled eggs with salmon and onion & chive cottage cheese

Lunch
Chicken breast pieces, some more cottage cheese, a leek cooked with a tiny bit of olive oil and a carrot

Dinner
King prawns cooked in chopped tomatoes

Snacks
6 mini gherkins - not sweet, those sour ones in vinegar
5 slices of wafer thin turkey ham
Hartley's sugar-free jelly

Total 861 kcal

Sooo... Week 1 finished. I'm a bit more nervous, a bit less excited and a bit more worried... But I still believe this is the best thing I'll do for myself :)  x

Pre-Pre-Op Diet - Day 6

Today I woke up with a headache at 7:30 and couldn't go back to sleep... It's not the first time this week, I had headaches a couple of times in the week. I hope it's because of ketosis! I should probably drink more.

Even though it's weekend (meaning huge cooked breakfasts in my past life) I had my all-bran in yogurt. So glad I found a way to eat this bran and the new Weightwatchers apricot yogurt is lush - only 50 kcal!

After breakfast it was the usual Saturday morning routine - cleaning and tidying up, such fun :P Then I cooked lunch by stir frying extra lean turkey breast mince, onions, leeks and a tomato. Rather bland on its own but a few spices cheered it up a little. At least it was filling with high protein.

My husband took me to a car gallery in the afternoon - we've been talking about changing my car for some time now. Any other time I'd be bouncing in excitement but today I felt really weird about it. It just felt wrong looking to buy an expensive thing when I didn't know if I'll be alive in a month's time... I'm not all doom and gloom about the operation, not at all, but I am terrified of general anesthesia and paranoid about what might do wrong when I'm under knife. I don't really think I'm going to die on the table but I'm just aware of the risk.

I think my life is a weird place right now. It feels like I'm putting everything else on hold until after my operation. It's a major thing to go through and I don't think it's right or wrong, it's just what it is. There is a much bigger emotional aspect of this operation, any operation, over the physical side of things. I thought my husband was a tad disappointed that I didn't show much enthusiasm so I explained how I feel to him as good as I could and we decided to think about it at a better time and left without committing to buying anything to my relief. All paranoia apart, I would like to be in the mood when I'm buying my next car, thank you very much :)


The highlight of the day was eating out, yay! After much consideration and spending half an hour on my phone's Myfitnesspal app, Nando's low cal food won. I had a butterfly chicken breast with no sauce (I didn't eat the skin) with mixed salad (with balsamic vinegar) and a corn on the cob. I didn't hurry and ate slowly, chewed my food properly and enjoyed it. Funny how I was full after such a small meal compared to my previous visits to the same restaurant where I had a bowl of olives as starter, then ate a half chicken with chips and coleslaw. Pleasantly surprised indeed and it was yummy.

Not much exercise today I'm afraid, other than tidying the house up a little.

Breakfast
All-bran original with Weightwatchers apricot yogurt

Lunch
Stir fry with extra lean turkey breast + onions + leeks
1/2 small pot of Total 0% yogurt

Afternoon snack
1/2 fillet of smoked mackerel

Dinner
Nando's butterfly chicken, plain with no skin + mixed salad with balsamic vinegar + corn on the cob

Dessert
Hartley's sugar-free strawberry and kiwi jelly

Total 1057 calories

Looking forward to seeing my friends at a baby shower tomorrow, dreading the cakes, cookies and the food though... I'll make sure I eat and fill myself up with something good before I leave the house and make sure I come back home for dinner so I don't have to eat anything while I'm out.

Tomorrow is the last day of week 1 pre-op. 3 weeks to go. Butterflies in my stomach...

Pre-Pre-Op Diet - Day 5

TGIF!!! What a busy week it's been!

I managed to walk to work and back today, feeling very proud of myself. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I was dreading it cos I assumed I'd sweat my ass off and come in the office with red face, frizzy hair and dripping sweat on my face, eeew! Nah, that didn't happen. I was a little short of breath but the cool weather helped with the sweating :) It took me 25-30 min to walk to my office (slightly downhill) and 30-35 min to walk back home (slight incline) so there, 1 hour cardio done. I'll definitely walk to work next week also but not sure I will have the energy during Phase 2, we'll see.

Myfitnesspal added an extra 400 calories to my allowance cos I walked but I didn't exercise so I could eat more. Feeling knackered now but not sure if it's because of the low calories I'm living on or work or the walk. Maybe just a Friday thing after a week of hard work.

Here goes today's food:

Breakfast
All-bran original in yogurt (why didn't I think of eating it with yogurt before?! it was the best so far)

Lunch
Same as yesterday, leftovers :) Calamari and salmon with cottage cheese

Snacks
6 cashew nuts
Irish diet yogurt

Dinner
Sainsbury's be good to yourself chargrilled chicken breast slices with a sauce made with mixing 0% Total yogurt, a teaspoon of tomato paste, a teaspoon of Maggi liquid seasoning and 1 teaspoon of wholegrain mustard

Dessert
10 calories sugar free, fat free jelly

Total 1025 calories

Overall a good day - I ate well, started exercising aaaaaaaand lost 2 pounds! Down to 317 this morning :) Yes, I did manage to get a new battery for my scales!

I had little panicky moments again today though. I read somewhere that you need to wear compression stockings after the surgery and I had it playing in my mind immediately - I can't put them on, they can't find a big enough one for my tree trunks, bla bla bla. My mind is my own worst enemy sometimes. I managed to scare myself again, pfft. I wrote to Emma (my patient co-ordinator at The Hospital Group) and she assured me that they do stock all sizes stockings. Still a bit worried but trying not to think too much about it...

Also read that you need to inject yourself with anti blood clot medicine for 10 days or so post op. Scaaaaaaaaaaaaary! At least a lot people said it doesn't hurt.

At this point, I think I need to focus on what I have to look forward to (the rest of my life) and not worry about temporary discomforts.

Night night! x

Pre-Pre-Op Diet - Day 4

I sat down to write today's post after a yummy dinner (perfectly low-cal!) and I remembered what I forgot to do today... buy batteries for the scales, grrrrrrr :( I'll pop out to Tesco's at some point tonight if I can be bothered later. Quite disappointed though.

Anyway I'm mega proud of myself today - I resisted a BBQ lunch for a launch or something like that at work. Smells were sooo delicious but I kept thinking "It's cheap meat full of fat, white bread rolls are the mother of all evil and ketchup is full of sugar" and popped out to get myself a healthy lunch from M&S. It got easier once I put some decent food in my tummy and by the time I got back, BBQ was over but the cakes were out. I had my snack yogurt then to satisfy my craving for something sweet and it worked just fine.

I made turkey meatballs for dinner and calculated the calories for each ingredient I used and each meatball is around 50 kcal. These are decent size meatballs so 6 filled me up nicely. I could eat more but only because I like the taste and wanted more. Because of greed, in other words ;)

I'm setting myself a new challenge for tomorrow - I'll walk to work and back. Dreading the thought but I have to do some exercise.

So, here's what I ate today:

Breakfast
All-bran original (ate this dry today, better than dissolving in milk)

Lunch
M&S Chargrilled calamari rings with red pepper dressing, half the pack
Smoked salmon slice
Cottage cheese with onion & chive

Snack
Irish diet yogurt, forest fruits
Sunbites onion & rosemary 

Dinner
Turkey meatballs and carrots (see below for recipe)

Dessert
Muller light banana and custard yogurt

Total 1023 calories

Turkey meatballs recipe (makes 30)
630g turkey mince (Tesco's package weighs this much)
1 medium onion, grated or chopped in food processor
1 teaspoon Maggi liquid seasoning
1 teaspoon cumin
1 tablespoon smokey BBQ fajita spice mix
25g oat bran
25g couscous

So if you mix all this, it's your basic mix. It makes 30 meatballs and I measure it with a tablespoon. You'll notice they are quite soft. Put 2-3 tablespoons of plain flour on a tray and cover the meatballs with flour, chuck the rest. Rest the meatballs for 20 mins so the couscous and oat bran can absorb the liquids. You can dry fry these on a teflon frying pan, cook them in the oven or do what I do and turn them into a delicious soup!

Boil 1 litre water with a bit of salt, drop the meatballs in and cook for 10 mins or so. Thickly slice a couple of carrots and add these in too (after the 10 mins of cooking). Once the carrots are cooked, in a separate container whisk an egg yolk and two tablespoons of lemon juice. Add a bit of the water meatballs cooked in, like a cup or so, this way the egg warms up and it won't cook the second you pour it in the water. Then put this mixture in the saucepan slowly and keep mixing. It will thicken a bit. Sprinkle some dried mint and serve in a bowl with plenty of the juices which will be a very filling soup!

Night night :)

Pre-Pre-Op Diet - Day 3

Battery in my scales is flat, I couldn't weigh myself this morning! Better remember to replace the battery tomorrow... Remember to buy batteries... Remember to buy batteries... Remember to buy batteries...

Right, I went to work today and despite temptation I resisted the cake and other naughties lying around. Bringing food to work and sharing it and especially encouraging colleagues to have some should be banned! Another challenge I haven't taken into account: When you work in an open office with 60 people, there is always an occasion for food. It's either someone's birthday or someone came back from holiday and brought back some local sweets with them. My job surely contributed to the last couple of stones I gained...

Breakfasts are hard work nowadays. Pretty much the only diet I succeeded at was the Dukan diet and even after I stopped I carried on eating oat bran for breakfast. My surgeon Dr Super however suggested all-bran instead and wasn't too keen on the oat bran. So I've been alternating All-Bran Original and All-Bran Flakes in the last couple of days...

Man, All-Bran Original tastes VILE. The texture is crumbly, it dissolves into sand in the milk which is simply gross and not too keen on the malty flavour either.

On the other hand, All-Bran flakes are quite yummy and crunchy. I like those. They just taste a bit too good though, that's where you should worry...

That's because there's 10.8g fibre in 40g of the original while there's 4.5g fibre in 30g of the flakes which means the flakes have more carbs, booo. So today, I sucked it up and had 40g of the original. I'm seriously considering having this dry tomorrow.

Today was a weird day - I couldn't finish my lunch! I was absolutely ravenous when I started eating but had to put the last 1/3 of it back in the fridge. Oh but fear not, I did eat it in the late afternoon as a snack ;)

I noticed I haven't been noting down what I drink all day. I have several cups of tea throughout the day - perhaps 6? No sugar, just a tiny bit of skimmed milk. Sadly, I'm not great with drinking water. I put a pint of water at my desk every day and maybe take a couple of sips and that's it :(  In the evening I drink diet coke and I come close to tears in each sip, I'll miss it so much. No more fizzy drinks after the op ;(

Last thing to note is that since I started pre-op diet part 1, I'm on decaf tea and I've either cut all salt or I use low sodium salt if I have to. People who know me wouldn't believe I cut it down so much, I LOVE salt but every little effort helps in the name of lowering blood pressure as much as possible before the op. My husband reckons I'm being paranoid as my blood pressure is within normal limits but it's actually near the top end of the limit.

Breakfast
All-bran original with skimmed milk

Mid-morning snack
A handful of carrot sticks

Lunch
Tesco Chunky Flame Grilled Chicken 200g (220 calories)
Cottage cheese with onion and chive 100g

Waiting for husband to come home to eat dinner but I can't wait I'm really hungry snack
Half a smoked mackerel fillet

Dinner
Sainsbury's Be Good to Yourself 3% fat Chunky Cod Fillets in Breadcrumbs (175 calories)
Green beans, boiled and served with garlic granules and vinegar
A medium size carrot, boiled

Dessert
Muller light banana and custard yogurt


Total 1020 calories

Good night and sleep tight :) x

Pre-Pre-Op Diet - Day 2

Today I went with my husband to his hospital appointment for his psoriatic arthritis steroid injection, which was early in the morning, then for the rest of the day I worked from home.

When at home I find that I fancy eating something more often than while at work (even while working from home) but I think I've done well...

Here's what I ate today:

Breakfast
All-bran flakes with rice milk and a pinch of cinnamon to make it slightly more interesting

Mid-morning snack
Muller light banana custard yogurt

Lunch
Chicken, courgette, onion, mushroom stir fry with yogurt sauce (yogurt + mustard + splash of Maggi liquid seasoning)

Dinner
Purple sprouting broccoli with fat-free vinaigrette & smoked salmon & 1/2 corn on the cob

Dessert
Another Muller Light banana custard yogurt

Sadly the biggest problem I have at the moment is that my stomach must be quite large and it takes a lot of food to fill up. That's where I'm hoping the gastric band will help most. Until I'm banded, I'll try to fill up on good stuff.

Total 1249 calories - not good, should keep around 1000. Oh well... Roll on Day 3 and I will :)

Pre-Pre-Op Diet - Day 1

As decided with my surgeon Dr Paul Super, today I started the 1st part of my pre-op diet which will be low fat, low carb, high protein for 2 weeks. The second part will be the stricter milk/yogurt diet for 2 weeks and I'm already dreading the though but I'll worry about it when I get there or I'll stop worrying and be awesome instead ;)

I stopped at my GP on the way home after work today get my blood pressure taken. It was 130/90 which is slightly on the high side for my liking but the nurse said it's absolutely normal and they don't need to monitor it. I told this to my patient co-ordinator at The Hospital Group and she said I'm well within their limits and good to go! HUGE relief, phew...

So here's what I ate today:

Breakfast

A bowl of all-bran flakes with skimmed milk

Mid-morning snack
Irish Diet yogurt - Apricot & Nectarine

Lunch
2x 100g packs of  Bernard Matthews Turkey Breast Chunks Hickory BBQ
1 170g pot of Total 0% Greek Yogurt

Afternoon snack
A handful of mini gherkins

Dinner
Home-made chicken stir fry with chicken breast, onion, leek, pepper and mushrooms
1/2 170g pot Total 0% Greek Yogurt

Total 1520 calories, which is not bad for a diet but not good enough for pre-op diet.I'll have to do better than this but this is only day 1 and there it still hope!

This morning:
319.4 lbs
BMI 51.4


28 sleeps to go!

Consultation

My husband and I drove up to Cambridge to meet Dr. Paul Super in The Hospital Group's Cambridge Park Hospital for my gastric band consultation. I was really nervous on the 1.5 hour car journey and Sunday drivers all around us didn't help.

We've been met by a very friendly receptionist who took me in for a quick weight and height measurement. I was busting for a wee and hoping this would make me lose a couple of pounds (desperate i know!) I headed to the toilet first, only to find out that I had my period, bleh...

So my BMI, which I was desperately trying to maintain below 50 (around 48-49ish the last couple of weeks) was a big fat 53 on the day I had my consultation and I don't know why exactly. Maybe because my scales aren't accurate or I've bloated up a bit thanks to my period or maybe I'm shorter than I think! I'll have to remember to ask my patient coordinator what they measured my height.

Then Dr Super invited us to his room and although I wasn't expecting to become best mates with him, his weak hand shake made my heart sink a little. Then I got to like him as he told us about the procedure, how the gastric band works, risks etc. He came across as a very honest person and I liked that. Also it's obvious that he knows what he's talking about by no doubt he's one of the best if not the best in his field. So no regrets whatsoever. I'm not looking for a babysitter to hold my hand (that's what my husband is for!) but a good surgeon who'll do his job well and I trust that Dr Super will do just that.

He explained how the band worked. I knew this but I'll write here anyway in case someone finds his/her way here and read it, they might find it interesting. Unlike what we initially thought, the band doesn't work by limiting the amount you can eat because of the little pouch it creates but instead the way it sends the brain signals of satisfaction as the food passes through and stimulates the nerves. So after you heal from the surgery, it's important to eat food with the right texture as liquid/soft food slides down easily while solid food goes down slower and keeps sending 'I'm full' signals to the brain.

We went through my medical history. Although I was tested for diabetes and thyroid levels, I had no idea if I had high blood pressure or not. So suddenly I panicked and at that moment I was 100% certain that I had high blood pressure! And if you have it too high, they can't operate. He told me that I didn't have the shape to have high blood pressure and most likely I didn't have it. He also said that I didn't look as heavy as I actually look and being pear-shaped is less risky for internal organs (hence, I assumed, less risky for the operation) and if I didn't lose weight I should expect joint problems more than, say, heart disease while apple-shaped bodies are more likely to develop it. He added that should I have high blood pressure, it would go down anyway because I would go on a pre-op diet.

I had already pre-booked the 15th of October for the op as Dr Super is mega busy and super popular - he had only 2 slots available which would work around my work commitments and I didn't want to miss and wait for another 3 months! It was 4 weeks before the op and we decided that I would immediately go on a diet of two stages. First stage for the first 2 weeks, I will do a low carb, low fat, high protein diet and then in the second stage I will do the milk and yogurt pre-op diet to shrink my liver. As the liver sits on the stomach, they need to lift it to reach the stomach to put the band on. If the liver's too large, it's got bleeding risk and it may not even be physically possible to move it at all! So this is serious stuff... It will be a bitch to have nothing but 3 pints of milk and 4 pots of yogurt a day for 14 days but I'll worry about it when I get there. First two weeks' dieting will help me go down to 50 BMI. This, again, is a must because if you're over 50 BMI, you'll have to have the operation in another hospital and pay another 1.5k...

After Dr Super, we met my lovely patient co-ordinator Emma who went through the procedure again with other logistic arrangements etc and she advised that the normal blood pressure reading is 120/80 and they can operate 160/90 or below. Then she said that they can go as high as 180/95. Frustratingly, her blood pressure monitor didn't like my arm, kept refusing to give a reading so we agreed that I would get my blood pressure checked at the GP or a Boots branch and email her the reading. Really nervous about this, hope it's ok...

We said our goodbyes and left the clinic and headed to town for a 'last supper'!

I didn't want to think about it too much so we just went in the first restaurant we fancied at the spot (Italian), had starter, pizza and desert - yummy! Then we drove back home and opened the bottle of champagne that was sitting in the fridge for the last few weeks - it was for our anniversary but I was really ill and on meds so we were saving it for a better time. As I will start dieting the very next day we just had to drink it :)

A little nervous but feeling very positive. Looking forward to the good things to come our way...


I will always remember Sunday, 16th of September 2012 as a very good day indeed :)

About me and this blog

Hi  :)

I'm a 35 year old woman, wife to a lovely husband who also happens to be my best friend, a hopeless workaholic and a big geek.

I started this blog the day before I went for a gastric band consultation with Dr Paul Super at The Hospital Group. I will be keeping my food journal here and noting down my experiences as I go. I expect to change my ways, lose the bad habits and hopefully develop better ones so looks like I will be here for a while!

Although I did think about weight loss surgery on and off for a long time now, in June 2012, after my 35th birthday, I started to seriously consider it. Discussing it with my husband at length, considering risks, sorting out finances etc we decided that this is the way forward.

After researching for a while, I registered on WLSurgery.com forums and this was a huge step forward for me. I felt like when I wrote "hello, I'm in this" and shared it with the people on the same boat as me, it felt like it was where it all began. I was then in the search for a surgeon and a hospital which offered good after care and I also started a pre-pre-op diet to lose as much as I can until I have a consultation, aiming to lower my BMI under 50. Started at 52, I easily achieved this in a couple of weeks.

Unfortunately, I went into a very difficult time at work at the same time. I was working 16 hour days to meet deadlines and was terribly stressed. I could not diet anymore when I had days with no lunch break, I was ravenous when I got home around 10-11pm and would order a pizza or grab a take away. I found myself sticking to my better habits in the day though. I would go and have a huge breakfast (huge but still Special K) which would keep me going for the day. I did snack though it would be an oven baked pack of crisps or nuts etc. I just lost it when I got home after work and had big bad meals shortly before bed time - I mean passing out in front of the telly... I didn't dare check my weight in this period. I was very disappointed that I couldn't carry on with the diet and were putting the pounds back on, plus extras.

Just when my mad days at work were over, I developed a trapped nerve in my right buttock/leg. NHS offered no comfort other than very strong painkillers and my GP said she can only refer me to a specialist if I'm still suffering after 6 weeks. How do you live with that for 6 weeks I have no idea. I couldn't move, I couldn't sit and I was in agony. I couldn't go to work and although the strong painkillers made me very sleepy, sleeping was hard work and it was the most painful when I woke up.

I made my own way to an osteopath. After 6 sessions in 2 weeks, I was in a much better position, although still not healed. I did go back to work though and it slowed down my healing process as I had to sit on my ass all day. This time I could only sit for 20 mins before I had to get up and walk around a bit.During this time I couldn't think about weight loss or surgery, I was in too much pain to care.

After a while, finally, I started to feel better and my thoughts drifted back to the original plan. I decided I wanted Dr Super as a surgeon and The Hospital Group both looked professional enough and 2-year aftercare was included in their package.

Booked the consultation for the 16th of September. Took me 3 months from the beginning to take the first step but I'm there now, determined more than ever.

First time in a looong time, I feel like I can do this and it's a strange kind of relief... :)